HOW TO GET ALL BACK WITH YOUR EX?
The ultimate road map in 30 nuggets of wisdom
Helping people like us is our passion; we understand how important it is to get back with an ex for whom you still have strong feelings.
In fact, our mission is to share our philosophy and techniques with as many people as possible and to give individuals around the world the tools, guidance and confidence they need to get back with the person they love.
That’s why we are delighted to be able to unveil this resource to help you learn everything you need to know about the process of getting back with an ex. We understand what it’s like to feel in love and feel powerless; so we decided to provide you with – the ultimate guide on how to get back with your ex – completely free!
This is probably the most comprehensive free road map on how to get back with an ex available on the internet today. Our goal is to provide you with a free resource that lets you know exactly what you need to do, no matter what situation you encounter; to show your loved one that you are the one who can make them happy in the long run and to help them achieve their dreams!
Through 30 nuggets of wisdom in – this ultimate road map to getting back with an ex – you will find incredible insights into the following 10 areas:
How to get back with your ex when you don’t know where to start?
Why does getting back with an ex require courage and objectivity?
Understanding that getting back together will also require creativity
The “I want my ex back and I’m ready to do anything” attitude!
How to get your ex back by winning the power struggle
How to get someone back, no matter what happens after a break-up
Getting your ex back under special circumstances
How to get an ex back the second time around!
How to win someone back for good
Get back with your ex and be happy together
We want you to know that you are not alone and that we care about you and how you are feeling right now. Understand that your goal of getting back with your significant other is also our cause!
Enjoy this roadmap on us and good luck in your quest to get back with your loved one!
Adrian and Alex
Your Relationship Experts from the Love Coach Team at WithMyExAgain.com
How to get back with your ex when you don’t know where to start?
If you’re no longer with the person you love but still have very strong feelings, it can be overwhelming at first when you’re trying to get over a breakup. You feel like a part of you is missing and that you will never be complete again until you get that special person back in your life. If you don’t know where to turn and are simply looking for help and support in figuring out how to get back with your ex, this is probably the best place to start!
- You must first understand the reasons behind the break-up
If you don’t understand what went wrong and why your ex no longer felt compelled to be with you, it will be extremely difficult to make him want to get back together or to get your ex to trust your ability to make him happy in the long term.
The starting point for anyone wanting to get back with an ex should be trying to answer this simple question: where did things go wrong in our previous relationship and why?
You’ll need to dig a little deeper than the usual clichés to feel confident about getting back with your ex. Essentially, you’re setting the stage or foundation for the whole process; it’s crucial to make sure you’re able to convey to your ex that you now understand how they feel, and that you’re ready to evolve so you don’t make the same mistakes! This is the key to understanding the answer to the question you’ve been asking yourself: how to get my ex to want me back!
70 professional tips to get him back
The complete step-by-step guide to getting back together with an ex! After a break-up, you feel terrible and completely lost. However, now is the time to be strong, follow your dreams and listen to your heart.
- Your ex simply feels that you can no longer make them happy
A key realisation you need to come to terms with before aiming to convince your loved one to get back with you is this: your ex probably left you (if that’s who they broke up with) because they felt you could no longer make them happy.
Despite what they may have said or what you may think, it’s probably not an emotional issue; they didn’t suddenly lose their feelings for you overnight.
Your ex has simply lost faith in your ability to make them happy in the long term. This is the key to achieving your ultimate goal of getting back together. Prove that you can make them happy permanently and you’ll be able to get back with the person you love!
So now you know that figuring out how to get back with your ex most likely has nothing to do with love and everything to do with trust and happiness.
Getting back together with an ex requires courage and objectivity
The process of getting back with an ex is not always easy. If it were, you wouldn’t be researching on the internet and seeking the help of relationship experts. One of the most challenging aspects of this process is the need to be self-critical and constantly ask yourself the right questions to make sure you are doing the right thing and not falling into any of the pitfalls along the way.
- 3. Introspection – Ask yourself the right questions
It is absolutely essential for you to maintain some perspective throughout your journey back with an ex. As well as trying to work out what you did wrong and preparing properly every step of the way, you will also need to get inside your ex’s head to understand what he or she might be thinking at any given moment.
This applies to your past relationship during any arguments or conflicts you may have had, the actual break up, but also moving forward as you try to win back their heart. To truly understand what your ex felt or experienced and to find the right approach to connect and touch their heart you will need to consider the 360 degree approach
It will allow you to understand why you both felt a certain way about specific issues that caused conflict in your relationship.
By taking into consideration each other’s romantic past, childhood, upbringing, fears, insecurities, dreams and aspirations; you will put yourself in the best possible position to understand what went wrong and what your ex’s real and hidden expectations are; even when they can’t express it themselves!
- Be self-critical
DepressedIt can be difficult to acknowledge that we made a mistake or that we could have done something better. Your ego takes a hit and you can make yourself feel worse before you feel better when you engage in such a process. But getting back with an ex will require you to put your pride aside and understand exactly where you went wrong and what made you act a certain way.
What can be scary is the realisation that you have deeper problems, which go beyond your previous relationship. Sometimes you don’t know where to start trying to solve these problems and you can quickly start to feel overwhelmed or even powerless. But don’t succumb to your fears and force yourself to face these problems head-on.
You will feel so empowered as soon as you begin this process and when you begin to identify exactly what has been holding you back.
There are many great resources out there; books, videos and experts like us who can help you overcome certain deep-seated problems. But you must have the willpower to face your shortcomings and engage in a process of change!
- Have you been too needy?
As mentioned earlier, it is essential to understand where things went wrong when setting the goal of getting back with an ex! The most common mistake people make that ultimately leads to a break-up is being too needy.
You love the person you are with so much that you become unable to control your emotions and fall into a kind of emotional dependency on them. In other words, you need their attention and validation in order to be happy or satisfied on a day-to-day basis.
Have you completely cut off your social life? Do you no longer hang out with your friends? Have you found yourself constantly asking your ex for time to do certain activities together instead of doing them alone? If you answered yes to any of the above questions, chances are you were actually too needy.
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Instead of valuing your efforts to connect and the sacrifices you made, your ex began to feel like you had become a burden. Moreover, you were no longer a challenge to them; and unfortunately, you started to be unappreciated and even unavailable in their eyes.
- 6. Have you neglected your ex?
Some people are at the opposite end of the spectrum. Their mistake has not been to be too needy, but on the contrary to completely neglect their ex and their relationship.
You may have put all your energy into your career or simply been overwhelmed by work; you may also have spent too much time with friends or focused most of your energy and time on a hobby or passion. Either way, it’s clear that you didn’t give your ex the attention and care they needed and deserved.
Once you’re able to identify the problem that caused your ex to lose faith in your ability to make him happy in the long run, you’ll be in a better position to figure out what you need to do to prove over time that you’ve changed.
Keep in mind that getting back together with an ex can take some time, depending on how bad things got between you and your ex, how the breakup happened, or if you made any major mistakes (like begging, crying, etc.) hoping to get back together quickly!
Getting back together will require creativity
To get back together with the person you love, you will need to think outside the box and seriously consider what you can do to show your ex that you have evolved. If you continue to do the same things you did during your relationship, and if you try to communicate with your ex in the same way, how can you reasonably expect a different result?
- 7. Finding potential solutions
Now that you’ve taken the time to understand your mistakes and where things went wrong, you’ll need to use your brain to come up with potential solutions to show your ex that you’ve evolved and to ensure that you don’t make the same mistakes over and over again.
What is important is that in order to get back together, you will have to be responsible for the potential solutions you find after the brainstorming session. To maximise your chances of success, write down your goals on a piece of paper and try to make your resolutions as tangible as possible.
Incorporate a when and how to everything you set out to achieve; for example write down every Friday I will run 3 miles. This is a simple but perfectly formulated goal because you will know every Saturday morning if you are staying on course or slowing down!
- 8. Invent a game plan
signs1To take it a step further, I want you to make a game plan to achieve your ultimate goal of getting back together. This was a trap and you probably fell into it!
By now you should know that your goal should be to prove to your ex that you can make them happy over time and that they can trust you! If you are able to put together a game plan to achieve this goal, you will in fact be able to get back with the person you love by association. Your ex will in fact be the one trying to get back with you!
So how can you put this game plan together and make sure it’s the right one for you? Well, you’ve already identified your mistakes and the potential actions you can take to change. Now you need to incorporate a communication strategy; how and when you intend to engage with your ex.
Then you need to establish checkpoints by adopting a goal-oriented approach in your daily life. Set goals on a daily, weekly and even monthly basis to get a bird’s eye view of where you are and where you need to go.
- 9. Stay active
One of the keys to getting back together will be your ability to stay active and not let your sadness or depression lead to inaction. It is very common to want to stay on your couch, do nothing or have no desire to see someone after a break-up. The problem is that if you don’t make an effort to stay active and take certain actions, you will continue to dig yourself deeper and deeper.
The best way to overcome this downward spiral is to have plans, try new things or engage in sporting activities. Going for a run or to the gym will allow you to get rid of the negative energies by getting tired! So please make an effort to get out of your seat and do something productive during your free time!
The ‘I want my ex back and I’m ready to do anything’ mentality!
It won’t be enough to simply say “I want my ex back”, snap your fingers and get back together. You really have to have a strong desire to be with the person you love and be ready to put in the effort! But it’s not just about effort, it’s also about having the right mindset and regaining some self-esteem.
- Regaining self-esteem
Happy young man having a coffee and thinking
After a break-up I have seen very strong men and women lose all their self-esteem. Being able to deal with this feeling of rejection from the person you love and care about deeply is very challenging. In some cases, especially after years of marriage, your whole world can be chatty and you find yourself trying to pick up the pieces.
So when I hear someone tell me “I want my ex back because he is the most amazing person in the world and probably my soulmate”, I always remind those people that they are pretty amazing too! If your ex fell in love with you, if you were able to inspire and seduce him the first time around, it means you have tons of qualities to offer too.
Never forget that during your pursuit! You deserve to feel appreciated too and it’s essential to spend a lot of time with friends or family; people you love and trust and who love you back to find some comfort and security in the days or weeks following a breakup.
- You must believe you can win him back
If you don’t believe in your chances of getting back together, how can you hope that your ex will believe in you? How can they reasonably expect you to be able to make them happy?
Self-confidence is an essential trait when it comes to getting back with an ex; you’ll need to trust yourself to survive the emotional rollercoaster of the process of getting back with an ex.
You can work on reprogramming your brain or changing certain beliefs. If you have a severe lack of confidence in yourself and in your ability to prove to your ex that you can make him or her happy; try doing one of my favourite self-help exercises; write down something in the present tense about a sticky yellow that you hope to achieve as if you have already achieved your goal.
So instead of writing I want my ex to come back and be happy, write that I’m back with my ex and that I’ve proven I can make him happy. Stick this note on your bathroom mirror and read it aloud 5 times in the morning and evening for a period of at least 21 days.
At the same time, start putting into motion other actions we have suggested in your daily life. Before you know it, you will start to experience this change and achieve the goal you have set for yourself. You can convince yourself that you will be able to get back with your ex and achieve this goal!
- Be ready to change
You will not achieve your goal of being with the person you love if you are not ready to extend your comfort zone and evolve in a positive way.
It may seem like common sense, but you would be surprised to know that many people hope to get back with someone they care deeply about, but do nothing to change some of their negative habits or behaviours. Most of the time, there are no magic tricks or quick fixes that can bring your loved one back into your life if you haven’t resolved some of the negative behaviours from your previous relationship.
So when I hear someone tell me that I want my ex back, I always ask them if they are willing to change or evolve in a positive direction to make their ex want to be with them again. If you are ready to step out of your comfort zone and in some cases revisit some preconceptions or beliefs you may have about yourself and your ex, then anything is possible!
Radio silence: The new and improved no contact rule for getting back with an ex!
Get your ex back by winning the power struggle
Every relationship is a power struggle. It may not sound very nice to hear and you may not agree with it, but that’s how I see it. You can believe in the love, compassion and value of your partner and understand that at some point it becomes a power struggle between you and the person you love; to live out a type of relationship that reflects who you are and your values.
The key is not to be too overbearing and tilt it completely in your favour because your partner will not be happy and will even leave you.
What we advocate is a philosophy, one that pushes you to challenge your preconceived beliefs about your relationship and find the right balance for love to flourish; and sometimes requires shifting the balance of power in your favour to get your ex back!
- Don’t put your ex on a pedestal
A common mistake people make during their relationship or immediately after a breakup is to put their ex on a pedestal. Either you let your emotions take over; love takes over and you try to profess your love to your ex by turning him into someone you can say no too!
Even worse, you start to lose your personality and what makes you attractive and unique to be something you think your ex wants you to be. But you’re wrong! Your ex doesn’t want you to be a person who says yes to everything he says and never stands up to them.
To get your ex back, you will have to regain a sense of independence and change this kind of behaviour. It is related to the idea of returning to the old you, the person who seduced and inspired your ex. Before you met your ex, you had a unique personality; you had beliefs, plans, dreams and aspirations.
Somewhere along the way you forgot all that you are and what you stand for; you changed for your ex and they left you because of it!
- The power struggle has defined
What is a power struggle in a relationship and is it possible to be happy without committing to a relationship? Some people are able to find a rare form of balance and be happy for a while in their relationship without having to impose their will on their partner.
However, it is very rare for this to happen; these couples are either emotionally disconnected from each other or are on exactly the same wavelength in terms of their expectations of their relationship, work-life balance, expectations of how to raise children, etc.
For most of us this is simply impossible and so we try to impose our lifestyle, expectations and values on our partner when things don’t go as we would like. Life throws curve balls and you don’t always have the time, perspective, serenity and confidence to figure out what you need to do to stay in perfect harmony with your partner; and to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship.
Whether you are madly in love with each other or trying to win back your ex, it is very important that you are aware of the power struggle. You also need to continually adapt to the dynamics you are both in; sometimes letting go and other times taking a stand and being a little tougher on your loved one; out of love for them and to save your relationship from itself!
- Radio silence technique: Understand the need to take some distance after a break-up
To get your ex back and to tip the balance of power in your favour sometimes the best thing to do is to take a step back and implement radio silence. A non-contact period of at least 3 weeks is the best way to shift the dynamic in your favour when your ex is stuck in his ways or when he wants absolutely nothing to do with you.
This is also an amazing technique to implement when you’ve made tons of mistakes or if you’ve put your ex on a pedestal and completely tilted the balance of power in their favour.
It can be really beneficial for you because it will give you the space you need to regain your composure, set a game plan in motion if you haven’t already and it will also prevent you from making any more mistakes.
Giving your ex space will also start to tilt the balance of power a little more in your favour because your ex will miss you and maybe even start to doubt his decision to leave. When you are all busy with their work, they can’t really deal with the backlash of their decision to leave you.
A radio silence can be that action which allows you to begin to regain control of the process of getting back together with your ex because it will be your decision not to join him.
Remember that in this case a non-action (not reaching out to them) is actually a very powerful action that will cause a reaction from your ex in one way or another; even if they don’t tell you how they feel when they don’t hear from you.
Radio silence will also be beneficial to your ex. If they have broken up with you, they need space; remember that a break-up means a need for space! By providing them with that space, they will be able to put things into perspective and realise certain things about you and your relationship.
At best, they will realise how much you mean to them and that they cannot live without you; that life is more difficult when you are not separated from it than the other way around.
At worst they will be surprised that you are able to control your emotions and that you cannot reach them; they will start to wonder what you have done too! In any case, the chances are that they will be much more receptive and perhaps even happy to hear from you after radio silence than they were before your period of no contact was implemented.
How to get someone back each time after a break-up?
There is no universal method for getting an ex back; there is no magic formula for how to get someone back, because every relationship is unique and every individual has their own personality, fears, desires, dreams and aspirations. Getting back with someone you love and have lost is an art; and we have mastered its different styles.
70 Professional Tips for Getting Back
The complete step-by-step guide to getting back together with an ex! After a break-up, you feel terrible and completely lost. However, now is the time to be strong, follow your dreams and listen to your heart.
So we want to provide you with some principles to drastically increase your chances of getting back with the person you love this time.
- Through new-found credibility and re-establishing contact in the right way
As we’ve discussed at length, your ex no longer trusts your ability to make them happy in the long run. Also, when you tell your ex that you have realised some of the mistakes you made and that you are a changed person, they probably won’t believe you.
Understand that your ex feels that you are incapable of changing in the way they would have wanted you to change; that’s why they left you (if they did!) or why they don’t want to get back together with you.
So you will need to be credible when approaching your ex next time. You have to show them with actions and not words that you are a new person. You have to show your change as you do certain things for yourself and not for them! Unfortunately, the best way to be credible is to actually change, not fake it.
So really, all you need to do to regain credibility and some interest from your ex is to go through the right process of personal development and keep yourself stable over time. Your ex will have no choice but to recognise your new perspective and at that point you will immediately regain credibility!
It is also important that you spend some time talking about how to establish contact with your ex in the right way. You cannot force the issue when contacting your ex; it must be natural for both of you to avoid any embarrassment. You can do this in person, on the phone, by text or via social media; but either way, it shouldn’t feel forced.
- The handwritten letter
There is something magical about putting thoughts down on paper the old-fashioned way, with pen and paper. I often suggest to people I talk to in private consultations that they write a letter to their ex to communicate key messages in a different way, to demonstrate their change, to surprise their ex and to re-establish contact in an unorthodox way.
Close-up of a man signing divorce papers.
There are a few rules to follow in order to write an efficient letter and to ensure that the letter has the desired effect. You must make sure that you have clearly identified what the main purpose of the letter will be. You should communicate around no more than 3 key points or topics. Your letter cannot be too long, ideally around one page.
You cannot criticise your ex in the letter; you should remain positive and talk about the changes you have already started to make in your life after the break-up.
Depending on how things turned out and whether you are still in contact with your ex, you could try asking them if you can meet to discuss some of the things you have finally realised about yourself and the mistakes you made during your previous relationships.
Other times the purpose of your letter may simply be to say that I am sorry for what I did to you. Again, you might write a letter to let your ex know that you are now confident that you can make him or her happy; that you realise where things went wrong; or that you are ready to change in specific ways to make things right.
No matter what the case may be, remember that your letter will not be an end in itself.
It may shift the dynamic in your favour and you may touch your ex’s heart; but either way you will still need to demonstrate your change over time and live out the key messages you touched on in your letter.
Getting your ex back in special circumstances
Some break-ups are more difficult than others. We try to provide you with as much relevant and tailored information as possible to cover as many areas as possible; but some situations are so unique that we cannot touch on all possible scenarios.
Getting your ex back in special circumstances is something I really wanted to address for those of you whose ex left for someone else, or for those who broke up during or after a long-distance relationship.
- What if they left me for someone else?
Even if your ex left you for someone else, you can still find a way to win them back! Getting your ex back in these circumstances is obviously more difficult, but not impossible.
One of the strengths will be your ability to manage your emotions. It will be even more of a rollercoaster than you expect, because the thought of knowing that your loved one is in someone else’s arms can drive you crazy.
I totally understand what you’re going through and can help you find a game plan to achieve your goals; even in these circumstances!
You’ll have to pretend that that other person doesn’t exist; when you’re talking to your ex, when you’re on social media (for your own good and mental health), and even when friends and family try to bring up the fact that your ex is with someone else. You won’t achieve anything positive by talking about their new boyfriend or girlfriend.
Instead, focus your energy on trying to re-establish communication with your ex in a casual way. This process may take a while before you can finally get back with someone you love, so you’ll need to be patient and resilient.
The trick will be to prove to your ex, over time, that you are better suited to making him happy than anyone else. You have to try to be positive when you’re around your ex and build on the fact that you have a shared history: humour, anecdotes of things that happened while you were together or even just small talk will help make your ex feel comfortable and want to spend time with you.
Time will actually work in your favour because the odds are that your ex’s new relationship is just a rebound; in time your ex will realise that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence and that you weren’t the cause of all their unhappiness!
- What about a long-distance relationship?
Getting your ex back after a long-distance relationship can also be quite a challenge if you can’t keep in touch with them. You need to try to maintain some contact, even if it’s just an exchange of emails every month or so, otherwise it can become much more difficult in a short time.
The first piece of advice I have for you is not to let distance overwhelm you. Realise that there is probably nothing you can do to change this factor, otherwise you probably wouldn’t have been in a long-distance relationship to begin with.
Young businesswoman working on tablet computer while drinking coffee in the office
You will need to be super resilient and focus all your energy on your personal development and growth. Understand that despite the distance, your ex will still notice a change in your behaviour and outlook. You will have to evolve quickly and show that change through the communication platform you have maintained.
Don’t try to convince your ex to change their mind based on your emotions or the way you feel about them; you don’t have to beg or plead with them to take you back either!
Play the “let’s at least stay friends” card and wait for the opportunity to strike! It’s easy for your ex to feel a certain way when you’re miles away. But once your ex sees you again, no matter when it will be, if you’ve been able to work on your personal development, it can be quite easy for you to re-seduce him again.
It is likely that the attraction to each other is still there. You will have a lot to talk about and you should both be very happy to reconnect if you are in fact seeing each other organically; so don’t force a rendezvous!
Try to be patient and take a long-term approach to getting back together. If your ex is your soulmate or the person you know you want to be with, it should be worth the wait!
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help from experts in the field!
If your ex left you for someone else, if you’ve been in a long-distance relationship, or if your ex wants nothing to do with you, I highly recommend seeking the help of industry experts to get the support you need to achieve your goals!
Let’s face it, there’s nothing wrong with needing support sometimes; people have trainers to get fit, go seek the help of nutritionists to stabilise their diet or go find a trainer to learn an instrument. Your love life is just as important as all these things, and you should also invest in your heart for your overall well-being!
Most of the time it is still possible to get your ex back if you have the right attitude and mindset; if you are willing to be patient and put in the work! Our experience in the field will allow us to advise you based on what you are going through.
We’ll provide you with a tailored game plan and concrete actions you can implement right away to start shifting the balance of power in your favour and to make your ex miss you!
Helping people find their loved one and achieve their goals is our passion. We understand that in order to do our job in the best way possible, we need to fully invest in people’s lives to understand the complexity of their relationship and what they are going through.
It becomes our process and not just yours. We are available every single day, 365 days a year, because we recognise that your love for your ex has no boundaries or days off! So, if you really want to do everything you can to get back with your ex, wait no longer and contact me or a relationship expert from the love coach team here at WithMyExAgain.com.
How to get an ex back the second time around!
If you’re still trying to figure out how to get an ex back, you’ll need to understand that it’s not about getting back together, but rather seducing the person you love again. When you talk about getting back together you run the risk of unconsciously trying to fall back into the same dynamics that led to the breakup of the first relationship.
I would like to take the time to emphasise the need to start afresh and free myself from your old relationship to create something truly new!
- The second first date
When putting together a plan on how to get an ex back you need to think about your second first date; the second time you go out with your ex with the hope of reconnecting as lovers and not just friends!
Renewlovelationship1You need to prepare for this second first date so that you don’t let your emotions overwhelm you and also don’t let your ex dominate you. It’s so easy to fall into a dynamic where you either put your ex on a pedestal again or show them that you are still in love and trying to get back together.
The trick for you will be to play it cool and just focus on having fun. Remember that we are trying to show an ex that we can make them happy! This date should be about showing that you can both get along and not fight or argue even if you are no longer together. Under no circumstances should you bring up past issues.
How to get over a break-up or divorce and move on forever!
You shouldn’t even talk about your previous relationship all together, because we are trying to break away from the old to create something new.
Instead, be sure to highlight the new activities and projects you have undertaken since the break-up. Show your ex that you are active and in a positive dynamic, that you are doing interesting things and have tons of new endeavours. Speak with enthusiasm and smile to convey renewed positive energy.
Don’t force the issue and remember that it’s always better to go home a little earlier than to push the envelope and ruin a great evening right at the end of your date!
- Surprise your ex
Your ability to surprise your ex can make or break your chances of getting back together. In fact, the element of surprise is so important in this process that when I’m asked how to get an ex back during a coaching session, I sometimes answer by simply surprising your ex! Of course, I explain at length later on why it is important to surprise an ex and how you should do it!
If you can surprise your ex in a positive way, it means that you have evolved in some way and that you are no longer what your ex thought you were! Once you are able to do something they don’t expect, you will plant a seed of doubt in their head and they will start to question everything.
Once you reach this stage you will be one step closer to achieving your goal of getting back together; especially if you can continually surprise them in a positive way!
Surprise your ex through the actions you planned to take after the break-up; through a new perspective and by being more positive and happy than they expect from you!
There are a million different ways to show that you have evolved positively or to do something they would never expect you to do in a million years. Think about the criticism your ex used to express towards you and start taking specific actions that will allow you to overcome some of your shortcomings.
For example, if your ex thought you were too selfish, start doing some community service once a week. You can go to a homeless shelter and make sandwiches for the needy or you can volunteer at a nearby hospital to spend time with the elderly.
You won’t tell your ex that you are no longer selfish; they won’t believe you anyway. But you can talk to them about your community service efforts and how rewarding it can be for you; and in the process impress the person you want to be with and show them that you have changed!
- Reverse psychology applied to get your ex back
If you try to take your ex head-on and force him or her to change their mind, you will probably meet a lot of resistance and never get where you want to go. It’s quite simple: it’s impossible to force someone to love you; but you can get them to fall in love with you if you take the right actions and are a little bit clever in your approach!
Reverse psychology is a technique in which you do or say the opposite of what you want to achieve. If you do a bit of research on this principle and try to incorporate this technique into your game plan, it’s possible that you’ll make your ex want to be with you faster than expected!
How to get an ex back through reverse psychology? Well, you can start by engaging in their bluffing game! I hear people tell me the following all the time: ‘my ex says he doesn’t love me anymore’; or ‘my ex-boyfriend says he still has feelings but it’s probably best if we stop seeing each other’; or ‘my ex-girlfriend says all she wants is for me to find someone else and be happy’!
Excuse my French, but that’s usually a load of crap! Your ex probably doesn’t believe these words or these types of statements. Either he’s trying to convince you to stop pursuing them, or he’s trying to make himself believe that he’s moved on, or he’s trying to prove to other people that you’re not together anymore.
Take a leap of faith and do exactly what your ex suggests you do to move on. Obviously you shouldn’t go all the way and really move on, or never try to get close to them again. But let them doubt for a few weeks or even a few months if you have been on the brink or divorced after a long marriage; push them to the brink to see if they are really able to take on their words.
If you are able to control your emotions, your ex will often break up before you and try to get back with you!
- Break up with your ex!
No matter if you are trying to get back with the person you love, you will have to seduce them somehow and make them fall in love with you. Seduction is not always about physique and sex appeal. You can seduce an ex through a musical instrument, for example, if you are gifted; through your music you could inspire them and touch their heart.
Passionate couple lying and kissing on the bed
If you are passionate or gifted with something positive or constructive, you are likely to seduce your ex again while engaging in that activity you are in your element! Of course, if your ex dumped you because you focused too much of your time on your passion (i.e. your musical instrument) and neglected it, you might want to try another approach.
But no matter what you have to seduce your ex and inspire him or her to get back together. An ex’s comeback is often about you being yourself and not letting your emotions or feelings change who you are in your heart. So don’t try to seduce your ex by being someone you’re not; it won’t be sustainable anyway and your ex will probably see right through you!
How to win someone back for good
When you’re in love you often just want to be with that person forever. But is this possible nowadays? Can you really win someone back forever? I know it is still possible, because I see people who win back their meaning every day, even after a break-up.
The trick, of course, is to never consider that your partner is conquered forever and to keep working continuously to prove to your ex that you can make them happy!
- Stay consistent with the changes you have made
If you are in the mindset of trying to figure out how to win someone back for good, you have to come to terms with the fact that you can never, ever slow down your efforts! You will have to keep working continuously to demonstrate your change or evolution, because you are always under the threat of a relapse.
In addition, your ex will quickly point out the fact that you have reverted to your holding ways and say something like “See, I knew you couldn’t change” or “I was so stupid to think you could stop doing this or that”.
Relationships are like a garden; you always have to take care of them or do your best to nurture your romance. In parallel you have to be firm with your personal development.
As you now know, it’s not just about taking care of your partner or nurturing your relationship; you also have to make sure that your needs, dreams and aspirations are met, while also maintaining a healthy social balance.
Again, the best way to ensure that you remain consistent with the changes you have made is to regularly set goals and always keep setting new ones once you have achieved what you set out to do. By striving to be better in all aspects of your life, you will inspire your loved one and remain in a positive dynamic in your relationship.
- Be content with what you have
I am sure you have heard the saying that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. It is also very very relevant to love and relationships. After being with someone for a long time it is easy to be tempted by something new or to get bored! Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you can easily find someone better!
cute young African couple in love
The abundance of fish in the coastline is not as simple as some make it out to be. The truth is that it is much easier to figure out how to win someone back than to find someone with whom you can build a lasting and sustainable relationship! You already know your partner and share memories and a history together. There is already something to build on, in a way.
The thought of finding something new with endless possibilities and the chance to rewrite your own destiny will always be very tempting; especially when you reach a difficult time in your relationship. But please try to gain perspective in those moments and don’t snap at a moment of weakness, because you may live to regret it.
I have coached so many people who have broken up with their ex only to realise how much they love them and want to get back together! Learn to love and be despised for what you have.
- Always keep seducing your partner
This is a topic we’ve all touched on in this roadmap, but it’s so important that I wanted to spend it briefly. The seduction game between you and your ex can never end!
Again, we’re not just talking about triggering their sexual desires, but also the ability to inspire your ex. If I were to put together a recipe on how to win someone back for good, the first ingredient I would ask you to add to the blender would be to develop the ability to seduce and inspire the other person.
Seducing a partner means being both in tune with ourselves and with the one we love. It means that both your auras resonate and speak to each other on a deeper level.
It means that you are striking a perfect balance between your personal aspirations and desires and the beliefs your ex has, or the plans they may have, or that you are in tune with something they also value highly.
To continually seduce your ex, remember to stay true to what you love and never try to do too much to please your ex. It’s all too easy to fall into one extreme or the other; either putting your partner on a pedestal or disassociating from your relationship altogether.
Also remember to do little things out of the ordinary to show your significant other that you care and that you care about them – without going overboard. Take the time to understand your partner’s love language so that you can show them your love in a way that speaks to them!
Get back with your ex and stay happy together
In the end, the whole process is about getting back with your ex, but also staying happy together afterwards. Our goal as relationship experts is to help people stay happy with the person they love in the long run!
This is exactly why we provide you with this roadmap and why we invest more than 10 hours a day, every day, 365 days a year; talking to people like you during a coaching session, on the phone, by email or in person!
- Is/is he/she still the right one for you?
You also want to make sure that you are with the right person, the one who can make you happy. Don’t let your love or fear of being alone blind you. If you’re not happy, if you don’t feel appreciated or not appreciated at all, make sure you pull back and communicate your frustration with the person you’re with in the right way!
Sweet young couple lying on the carpet
I want to stress this because often when you’re in the process and mindset of getting back with an ex, you can tend to forget that it’s also about being happy rather than simply being in a relationship with the person you love. It’s okay for you to be unhappy, it’s okay for you to sometimes express your discontent and set certain expectations for the other person.
We’ve come full circle; at this point I can also tell you that if you’ve done everything you can to get back with your ex, if you’ve diligently followed our advice, if you’ve worked with a relationship expert and the person you love is still not willing to compromise or make sacrifices to accommodate you and make things work; then maybe you should consider moving on and figuring out how to get over a breakup because he or she probably wasn’t the one for you.
We pride ourselves on telling our clients right away if we think they should move on or if we think getting back with an ex hurts them more than anything else. In some cases you have to let go of a destructive relationship to realise it wasn’t meant to be and to find your true soulmate!
- The joint life project
The best way for two people to maintain a bond over a long period of time is to have plans together. You can start with the goal of buying or building a house, you can imagine having children together, what you will call them and how you intend to raise them; but I would like you to focus on something deeper, something that will allow you to dream even more together.
We often refer to the concept of a life project together with the people we coach who are still with the person they love, but have started to drift apart.
The issue here is not necessarily about getting back together with your ex, but more about how to reconnect when love starts to drift away; how to make sure that you both keep pulling in the same direction when life gets in the way, after a tragedy or even if one of you suddenly starts to get stressed by a new job or a big change in your life.
A life project can help you to stand firm and pull in the same direction, because it is a manifesto of what you both aspire to achieve together. This might even be an unattainable goal, but one that resonates at the core of both you and your significant other.
Whether you are together or apart, this must be a dream that you would both be loathe to pursue individually; but knowing full well that you will inspire and help each other to approach this endeavour as a unit rather than alone!
It can be quite difficult to work out what the common life plan for your couple might be. It can take an enormous amount of time and effort to figure it out; and it is a process that you will have to go through together.
It would also be a pleasure for us to provide advice for both you and your significant other to help you create this manifesto that will highlight your combined bond and aspirations!
- Getting back together with your ex is not the end of the journey!
When trying to get back together with someone you love, some people tend to stop projecting into the future after the moment they are reunited with their loved one.
Don’t make this mistake! Although we’ve told you time and again that you need to continue to strive throughout your relationship, even after you’ve been able to achieve your goal of getting back with your ex, we need to keep reminding you of this simple but essential point.
It’s human nature to tend to relax a bit after we’ve been able to achieve something we’ve worked diligently for over a long period of time. They say that happiness is about the journey and not the destination; I want to go a step further and tell you that happiness in love is about the journey and not the destination!
Enjoy your time together while you can! Constantly remember to live in the present moment, to enjoy the here and now.
Imagine putting in all this work to be with the person you love and then later forgetting to cherish the moments you spend together. It may seem unfathomable to you now, but believe me, after a few years of living and being together it is very easy to forget how beautiful and how special your bond is.
We wish you luck in your journey to be with the one you love. We have enormous respect for what you are trying to achieve and the fact that you believe in love. We try to provide you with as much free content as possible to help you maximise your chances of getting back with your ex.
However, sometimes general concepts, even if detailed, are not enough. If you want to take it a step further and give yourself the best chance of getting back with your loved one or having no regrets, I strongly encourage you to book a consultation with one of our relationship experts. It could be the best call you will ever make.